2014/1/14

Happy valentine day to you! I know i dissapoint you for not remembering today is valentine day. I'm so sorry. So stressful these few days as exam is coming soon and it just left 2 days. I'm going to die under the stress and hope exam could pass faster. Both of their relation is getting worse and i start to worry i will be like them in future. It do makes me worry sometimes. Sometimes i just hope i could have a day to go out shopping with you all like how others family could be. I really wish this is just a nightmare and when i woke up everything went back to normal and as usual. Everytime i pinch myself i know that this is not a dream. Its true but its not easy to accept this until now i'm from a broken family. I do really feel so sad and sometimes my tears will fall out in a sudden within my control coverage. Why i will be in one of the broken family? Is this a challenge from god? What is i won this challenge? Will they return back a complete and sweet family for me? I do want it so badly. Everytime when i flashback to the old memories i feel so sad and wanted to be back to those times and dont let it past. But i know this is not possible. Once the memories flash back my tears drop once. Why? I feel so suffer some times. I just hope i could be protected but not the one who protect others. I do really feel tired. I just hope someone could protect me and let me have some rest and never get hurt by anyone or anything. My heart is so cold as i cant feel the warmth of the family at all. Is so breezing cold until I couldn't do anything to warm it up. I'm so tired with my current life. Why my life will be so tough until i dont know how to walk towards my future. I want a family. Can I? :'(